Have you ever felt this acute need to escape? Break free. Just leave.
Like a butterfly in a jar, Have you ever felt the glass wall enclosing you? You’re flying to the greatest heights you can reach but you still feel the need to fly higher. You want to change everything, yet keep it same. You’re confused, who are you?
All you think you need is a break. A break from thinking about all the chains binding you here, thinking about the reasons why you can’t fly, everything that is holding you back. And all you want is for this break to last forever.
That evanescent feeling of the breeze blowing your hair, your head hanging out the window of a car, music drowning all thought, lights and shapes blurred into colours – that sense of just being. No body, no life, no goals, no world – Just being. For a few moments. And then you can return to earth, fulfil all your worldly obligations. Go do it right.
But I wonder…can I make that feeling last forever? Is there a right way, where it isn’t for a few moments but all? Is that what they call peace?
If I go to the monks will it stay with me? Or will I then yearn for the stress I’ll be leaving behind? Do I crave it because its a change or do I crave it for what it is? This beating of my heart, when it is content, am I the one responsible for it or is it just the adrenaline of escape?
Have you ever felt this acute need to escape? Have you followed it to peace yet?